Aug 11 - Ostrich Weekly Forecast

We've reached the dog days of summer, a term that makes intuitive sense to me, when the heat turns us into panting puddles of fluff, wanting nothing more than to curl up in the shade. Lest you think this is a metaphor, I have embraced middle age with the purchase of a hammock, the Brazilian kind, with no support bars, that wraps itself around you like a soft tortilla. If you want to go somewhere else for a while, and you don't know anyone to sell you drugs, invest in a burrito hammock and a pair of headphones.

But I digress. The dog days aren't named for our transmutation into lazy dogs, but for the heliacal rising of the Dog Star, Sirius, and its little brother Procyon. Neither I nor our weatherman put much faith in astrology, but it makes perfect sense that people would associate the dog stars with heat, thunder, drought, and lethargy.

[Sidenote: When Canis Major and Canis Minor first appear, they're low on the horizon, not looming, but peeking at you from the window sill. The canines are winter constellations. In the dark days, the dogs are watching over you.]

In Sweden and Finland, this is the Rot Month, when meat spoils more quickly (not always a bad thing, in their way of thinking) and wounds are most susceptible to infection.

So we'll call it a mixed forecast. You'll have the heat, drowsiness, testy tempers, pestilence, and rot. Not great. But meanwhile there's the last few weeks of summer vacation, the rosy, burrito-hammock evenings, and the lutefisk, if fermented fish is your thing.