November 3 - Ostrich Forecast

If June is the prom court month of minor holidays, November is the AV Club, a gathering of humble celebrations, some popular, some less, but, as a group, going somewhere in life. I've omitted quite a few, believe it or not, and that still leaves too many for one tycoon. I'll list my Nos, Maybes, and Yeses, in hopes that the rest of you will pick up the slack.

National Bison Day - Nov 1
No. Where does one even get a bison, these days?

National Vinegar Day - Nov 2
Technically yesterday, but still a maybe.

National Sandwich Day - Nov 3 (today!)
Yes. It's a sandwich, the definition of low effort/high payoff.

National Housewife's Day - Nov 3
No. You can marry a house if you want, but that's none of my business.

National Candy Day - Nov 4
I've said it before: a candy festival four days after Halloween is a service to nobody.

National Chicken Lady Day - Nov 4
I assume this is a Marvel franchise thing? No.

National Donut Day - Nov 5
Maybe. Wednesdays are a work-from-home day, so donuts only happen if I mean it.

National Nachos Day - Nov 6
Okay, I'll take this one day off from tacos.

National Men Make Dinner Day - Nov 6
Yes, I'll gladly do the cooking, but I feel like, if he needs this day, does he deserve this day?

National Saxophone Day - Nov 6
No disrespect to the saxophone.

National Bittersweet Chocolate with Almonds Day - Nov 7
There's a chocolate/almond bar in the pantry right now. The question is, will it last until Friday?

National Fountain Pen Day - Nov 7
See, the lady at Oblation said she'd tune the nib on my LAMY 2000, but I bought it online, and I don't think it's fair to let her fix my pen, unless I buy something. They happen to have a Pilot Grance in stock—the friction-fit one, with no irritating screw-cap threads on the grip—so you see the obvious solution.

National Cappuccino Day - Nov 8
See also, National Espresso Day - Nov 23
No. Coffee's not for me, but you should raise a cup for both of us.

National Parents as Teachers Day - Nov 8
Seems irresponsible, but I guess you teachers get the day off!
(What? It's a Saturday? Guess not.)

National Scrapple Day - Nov 9
Self-evident no.

National Vanilla Cupcake Day - Nov 10
Say it with Prue, "Not worth the calories, I'm afraid."

National Sundae Day - Nov 11
Who could possibly sundae on a Tuesday?

National Indian Pudding Day - Nov 13
Let's just say it: these unofficial holidays are contrived, arbitrary, and unnecessary. Yet I've never had an Indian pudding, and it sounds delicious. The only way I'll ever have an Indian pudding is if I seize an occasion like National Indian Pudding Day, and actually make one.

National Raisin Bran Cereal Day - Nov 15
Maybe. Raisin Bran is an underrated banger of a cereal. With that established, I haven't bought a box in years.

National Spicy Hermit Cookie Day - Nov 15
Bake no hermits in your cookies, most especially the spicy ones.

National Philanthropy Day - Nov 15
Except, what if we did?

National Clean Out Your Refrigerator Day - Nov 15
I mean, I hear what you're saying.

National Button Day - Nov 16
I don't wear many buttons, except for the one on my belt line that does the heavy lifting. As long as I put on pants that day, I'll be celebrating. (It's a Sunday in November, so the jury's out.)

National Fast Food Day - Nov 16
No, unless I pass that new Popeyes on the way home.

National Take a Hike Day - Nov 17
In mid-November? Check back for the forecast.

National Homemade Bread Day - Nov 17
How dead is my sourdough starter? All dead, or mostly dead?

National Baklava Day - Nov 17
Easiest yes on the list.

National Play Monopoly Day - Nov 19
In solidarity with younger siblings worldwide, I'll sit this one out.

Substitute Educators Day - Nov 20
Teachers, this one seems legit! And it's a Friday!

National Peanut Butter Fudge Day - Nov 20
Three of you will be breathlessly excited, but, for myself, no.

National Absurdity Day - Nov 20
I would in any case, and this year it's a foregone conclusion.

National Sardines Day - Nov 24
I'm neither Italian nor a cat.

National Parfait Day - Nov 25
I've never thought, "I sure could go for a parfait." But then I've never disliked a parfait. Is parfait the sleeper dessert we've been looking for? Maybe.

National Cake Day - Nov 26
As if I need another reason to feel unpatriotic, America does not know what a cake is.

National Alan Day - Nov 28
I'm not Alan, Allan, or Allen, but if you are, huzzah!

National Flossing Day - Nov 28
Even snobs like me, who floss as a consequence of merit, could find ourselves far from home on Thanksgiving, leaning back after dinner, absentmindedly toying with a green bean fiber caught in that one awkward gap, and realize to our horror that we've forgotten our bag of twin-line Plackers. There but by the grace of God. So, yes, I see why Flossing Day comes after Thanksgiving, even if it's a day late and a dollar short.

National French Toast Day - Nov 28
Polar opposite of parfait. I always want French toast. But do I want French toast? (Better question: can I resist?)

Small Business Saturday - Nov 29
I'd say its preaching to the choir, in this crowd.

Stay Home Because You're Well Day - Nov 30
I believe it's a human obligation, for those who can, to take a day off now and then, just to do the things you feel like doing, so I appreciate the sentiment of SHBYWD, if not the priority it underscores. But if we all skip work on the same day, isn't that like jumping in an elevator all at once? Doesn't matter; the 30th is my day off, and I'm hoping to be well, so I'm in by default.