October 13 - Ostrich Forecast

Cryptids and monsters dislike both heat and cold, so we're now in the peak of strange beast season, when you're likeliest to catch a sasquatch in your peripheral vision, or spot a blurry selkie in your photos from the coast. The general advice, in an unexpected mythical-beast encounter, is the same as with bears or moose: give them a wide berth, don't make aggressive moves, and presume they know their business. Faeries are an exception. It's best to greet them before they greet you, and though it's wise to be hospitable, you should never sign anything they give you, even an office birthday card. Remember, too, that leviathans don't mean to sink ships, but their backs are very itchy. Hence old mariners won't leave port without a garden rake.

Meanwhile, with E. J. Tackett roasting the boards, bowling is hot again, and this week should be a lucky one for shooting turkeys. (Not real turkeys—that happens next week.) If you head out to the alley, be aware that things have changed. Two-handed deliveries are all the rage, and one-piece coveralls are more or less required. Smoking is no longer allowed in the lanes, so everybody huffs the shoe disinfectant. Otherwise, it's the same as always. Go knock 'em dead!