Ostrich Daily Forecast: June 30

So, the bad news is it's Jerk Week, but the good news is, with a little planning, you can avoid the worst of it. The most common path through Jerk Week is to meet lot of jerks, who will show you a generally bad time. Even if you're the jerk, you can't escape this fate, though you can certainly play into someone else's Jerk Week. But if you're not excited about encountering jerks, you can appease the gods of Jerk Week by honoring the occasion in some other way. Even one plate of Jamaican jerk barbecue could save you a lot of agony. Otherwise you could go to the gym and work on your clean-and-jerk. Or if not those, you could watch Steve Martin's 1979 movie, The Jerk. And that's just the first three ideas I can think of.

Also this week, we recommend pinching your pennies, but only as a finger exercise. You sure can't buy anything with them. Your pennies are worth more as pie weights than they are as money. (Don't believe me? The cheap pie weights on Amazon are $8.99 for two pounds, whereas two pounds of pennies will set you back three bucks.)